She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll

The Bravery to Dream Limitlessly: A Chat with Dr. Esther Zeldon Part 1

February 20, 2024 Kristina Driscoll Episode 74
The Bravery to Dream Limitlessly: A Chat with Dr. Esther Zeldon Part 1
She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
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She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
The Bravery to Dream Limitlessly: A Chat with Dr. Esther Zeldon Part 1
Feb 20, 2024 Episode 74
Kristina Driscoll

In this episode, which is the first part of a two-part series, we delve into an enlightening conversation with Dr. Esther Zeldon, a bestselling author and dynamic facilitator known for her insights on self-growth, Latina leaders, and professional and international development. Dr. Zeldon discusses her journey from a sick toddler in Nicaragua to a successful keynote speaker and how she helps individuals and organizations define their purpose and unlock future opportunities, ultimately leading a limitless life. The conversation emphasizes the importance of defying social barriers, setting realistic goals, breaking down major objectives into achievable tasks, and learning to enjoy the journey and celebrating small victories along the path to success.

ABOUT DR ESTHER ZELEDON  

Dr. Esther Zeledón is a coach for high achievers and founder of @be.act.change, with over 20 years of experience working with thousands of individuals, teams, and communities. Dr. Zeledón is known as the "time guru" and "mindset master" for her expertise in unlocking her clients' full potential, defining clear next steps, and creating growth mindsets that align with their purpose. As an immigrant woman, she has a unique understanding of the challenges faced by high achievers who have had to overcome systemic social, cultural, and economic barriers. Dr. Zeledón's work focuses on helping individuals, organizations, and communities discover and live their purpose, navigate obstacles, and thrive with purpose. She has presented at hundreds of events worldwide, inspiring and engaging professionals, leaders, and changemakers to find fulfillment through purpose. Dr. Zeledón offers expertise on discovering purpose and developing a positive mindset for personal and business growth.  


Connect with Esther:

Web https://beactchange.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/be.act.change/



Connect with Kristina:
Instagram
Facebook
Join our Podcasters Facebook Group
Website

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1660488233

Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, which is the first part of a two-part series, we delve into an enlightening conversation with Dr. Esther Zeldon, a bestselling author and dynamic facilitator known for her insights on self-growth, Latina leaders, and professional and international development. Dr. Zeldon discusses her journey from a sick toddler in Nicaragua to a successful keynote speaker and how she helps individuals and organizations define their purpose and unlock future opportunities, ultimately leading a limitless life. The conversation emphasizes the importance of defying social barriers, setting realistic goals, breaking down major objectives into achievable tasks, and learning to enjoy the journey and celebrating small victories along the path to success.

ABOUT DR ESTHER ZELEDON  

Dr. Esther Zeledón is a coach for high achievers and founder of @be.act.change, with over 20 years of experience working with thousands of individuals, teams, and communities. Dr. Zeledón is known as the "time guru" and "mindset master" for her expertise in unlocking her clients' full potential, defining clear next steps, and creating growth mindsets that align with their purpose. As an immigrant woman, she has a unique understanding of the challenges faced by high achievers who have had to overcome systemic social, cultural, and economic barriers. Dr. Zeledón's work focuses on helping individuals, organizations, and communities discover and live their purpose, navigate obstacles, and thrive with purpose. She has presented at hundreds of events worldwide, inspiring and engaging professionals, leaders, and changemakers to find fulfillment through purpose. Dr. Zeledón offers expertise on discovering purpose and developing a positive mindset for personal and business growth.  


Connect with Esther:

Web https://beactchange.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/be.act.change/



Connect with Kristina:
Instagram
Facebook
Join our Podcasters Facebook Group
Website

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1660488233

Kristina:

Hey everyone, it's Christina Driscoll host of this she's brave Podcast. I'm so glad you're here with me. I did not start out brave at all. But I learned that we can do brave things, one small step at a time. After caregiving for my husband and son for 12 years, it was definitely time for my next chapter. I wanted to get brave women's voices out there in the world. And more importantly, I want all of you to have the courage and the resilience to live your best authentic life. So come along with me and learn how to live your best life. And I want you to hear the brave voices of women all around the world. Hey, everyone, it's Christina with the she spray podcast. You guys, you guys, you guys. I just finished this book. And I have the author on her name is Dr. Esther celadon, and today's guest. She's all about how to define social barriers and build a limitless life aligned and joyful. Easier said than done. I know, I know. Hang in there you guys. She's amazing. She's a best selling author, dynamic facilitator and keynote speaker igniting insight, inspiration and strategy to empower individuals and organizations in achieving their goals and unlocking future opportunities. Her topics include focus, self growth, Latina leaders, professional development and international development. Welcome. Welcome, Esther.

Unknown:

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited, or shall

Kristina:

I say Dr. Dr. Zelda on? I think I'm gonna be doing both today. Okay, so you've recently written a best selling book called Creating your limitless life. I feel it is so perfect for the world today. And I feel everybody should read it. And it acts as a call to action for people everywhere to defy social barriers, and live a life of alignment and joy. I absolutely love, love, love this concept. As the world grapples with evolving priorities and values, shaping our collective happiness becomes increasingly more important. And you guys, you may need to rewind that last sentence one more time, because it's a lot. But it's so so so important. In particular, individuals are encouraged to reconsider the traditional notion of success and happiness, prompting a shift in the way society views the pursuit of the American dream. Again, this is a lot packed in, but you guys just really let it sink in. Because this is what we're all dealing with. Why are we so unhappy as a collective nation? Were the most prosperous nation in the world? What's going on here? So, Esther, I'm going to start out with a quote from you. It is a simple idea can blossom into a life changing movement? Okay, and by the way, you guys, her quotes, in the book are phenomenal. You're gonna be seeing them all over Instagram and Facebook. So if you don't buy the book, you're gonna be seen. Okay, so let's dive into your story. Tell us more about your early life. Let's start. They're not super deep, deep dive. But yeah. Yeah.

Unknown:

So I mean, if I just talk about my early life, let's go back to when I was a toddler. And the reason I'm going back there is that this one incident in my life changed and kind of defined everything right. So when I left toddler, I was given three weeks to live like I got really sick. And you know, I wasn't able to pee was a problem, my urethra and my dad is not very religious, but he's he's spiritual. They took me to all the doctors that were in the in the country, right. And at this time, I was in Nicaragua. And they basically couldn't find they couldn't cure me, right? So he's like, Oh, my God, you know, so they were kind of in this process, but he didn't want to give up hope. So he played the lottery. And then the story how he says it is I chose the numbers. Long story short, they win. So they win this money. And they use it to fly me to Miami. So we all know the health care system, or maybe not a lot of people know but the health care system in the United States is really expensive. If you're international, you pay by cash. So they use all the winnings to save my life and then when we went back to the country than they was Have a war and then we had to emigrate with nothing. So then my parents went from having these jobs, these careers to having nothing, right. And then all the money that they could have had right was spent on me. So I grew up feeling that I had an obligation to help them. I also felt that my needs came second. And so that's when I started adopting that I needed to be the perfect child. And I needed to get all the good grades, and I needed to be the fixer, and find the solutions for everyone. But myself, right. So for me, I gave myself that blueprint that Esther has to follow the American dream, right? That's what they teach you, right? And that's what's everyone praises you for. Right? If you get good grades, if you get the good job, right, the promotion, get married all these things. So I was like, Well, Dan, is how society defines as not burdensome, perfect. So that's what I'm going to do. So I did that. And that's how my life ended up revolving, right and doing all the checkmarks following those things, everything that's sold to you and following that blueprint.

Kristina:

Yeah. And I just wanted to check when I was reading your book, I could relate to that I was a teen in the 80s in Canada, but I just felt like I had to be working on finding the perfect husband and I had to work on finding the perfect career. And there was just a lot of pressure on me. And the back then nobody talked about it. I think it's one thing that has improved so much, is that we're now talking about things a lot more.

Unknown:

No, absolutely. Actually, I'm going to sidetrack a little bit. Elmo have those posts from Sesame Street go viral this week? Because he asked people how are they doing? And the majority of posts are the responses where people are not doing well. People are overwhelmed. Not

Kristina:

surprised. Yeah. People out

Unknown:

on unaligned people feel like, I only look forward to the weekend, right? There's a lot of misalignment in this world. And and I could relate like I spent years feeling that way. And I'm finally don't. But I had to go through that, right. I went through the whole chasing the American Dream chasing the checkmarks I got the job, I first got married, and it's nothing wrong with the guy. But it wasn't for me, right. And then I ended up having the courage to get divorced and talk about this. We said no one talked about it was the first one and my family to get divorced and even voice that I wanted to be happy. And that was like,

Kristina:

I didn't I didn't mention that earlier. But the identical thing happened to me in my early 20s as well.

Unknown:

Yeah. And and just even to be give myself permission to break that mold of perfection. And the American dream was just a whoa shattering. And I remember, even my family didn't talk to me for months, even with that stuff. So then with the career, it was something I used to kind of try to bring it up in conversations. I don't know, I feel like I meant for more. There's something something's not to say it's, yeah, there's this voice in my head. That's like, there's something else. And I didn't know what that else was. But there was so much pressure of, well, why you should just feel lucky, you have this job, everyone wants this job, you're doing impact, you're not grateful, right. And it was all those comments of oh, that's you don't you're not remembering where you're coming from the opportunities you have. And the thing is, those narratives are very limiting, right? And it's, it's not one or the other, we can still be super grateful for the opportunities we have, and still want to seek alignment and more. There's nothing wrong with that and doesn't mean one or the other. But society puts those narratives on us. So in my journey then when I finally gave myself permission to discover my own purpose, I had been helping everyone else but I gave myself that permission to be like what is it what is the more what is it that I want? Where is it that that I want to build this thing? And that's when I finally did that right? I did that even just taking the first step because it's not a destination just even taking that first step of showing up that way. I already felt a billion times better like the anxiety went down and I did my transition smooth a lot of people you see socials are all doing now this change your life three days for me, I fit a profile of of the I had all those burdens, I have the people pleasing. I have the the High Achiever thing for me to transition to go from giving myself that permission to explore something new, to take a risk to do all that I had to take my time. Right and that's that's why I tell people everyone has their own timeline.

Kristina:

Mine are you my frickin twin? Because I have been exactly the same way I was that people pleaser. I didn't know who I was. And for me it's been very, very small steps. Yeah, I can't just take this gigantic step in my everything just happens all at once. It's been a very slow transformation. I want to share just a short passage from your book because I mean, you're just such a great writer. I just want to share it with the audience so that we can chat a bit more about that there's so many things I want to talk to you about. Okay, here we go. Sometimes our dreams and purpose get clouded because along the way, we are given other people's dreams and purpose, passed down from generations of regrets and ambitions that were left not pursued, or through society as checkmarks to achieve also known as, quote, chasing the American dream. And we don't ever realize it worse yet. We start to live our dreams and then are bullied, our voices silenced and we give up. Wow. It's, it's so well said I've never heard anyone say it. So well as that. Because I talk a lot about having the courage to be your authentic self. But one thing I have never talked about is yes, along the way, you are gonna get bullied. And yes, sometimes you are gonna feel being quiet. And yes, sometimes you are silenced temporarily. I mean, I think it's all happened to us, we get bullied. And yes, we give up temporarily, I think that we can move through it. But I just loved that whole thing and how it was written and addressing so many things. So tell us more. Tell us more about your journey. You wrote at the very beginning of your book, it says, you dedicate the book to your 16 year old self. And I'm going to quote you again to my 16 year old self, who almost gave up. I'm so glad you did it. And I think that this really pertains to everybody like it, it pertains to someone who's listening is having a hard time right now it pertains to parents out there who are like, Oh my gosh, my kid is like, you know, my kid is really depressed, whatever, whatever. So let's talk about that some more. Yeah,

Unknown:

yeah, I dedicated it to my 16 year old self, because at that time, I felt that I had to be perfect. And I had to portray this certain image to the world. And that's how I had to find purpose. But that was another thing. My book. One of the gaps I saw is we talk about purpose a lot, right? But we don't tell people how to do it, or how to find it. And so yes, we end up confusing purpose of so many people confuse their purpose with the American dream, or so many confuse it with chasing these check marks, right? Because we haven't really given people that information. So one of my biggest things with the book was, I give you the full house, all the questions, you need to dig deep, because I really think if people dig deep in that, they'll realize they do have a unique value, you do have something to bring to this world. And that's how it goes back to my 16 year old self, because I didn't think I had any value to the world except people pleasing and being this perfect person, quote, unquote. So that was the value, right? I didn't even think that there was anything unique or special about me. And I didn't think there was anything I was just like, Whatever, I'm just not going to cause trouble. I'm not going to be burden. But there's nothing special about Esther. And that was so wrong, right? That was so limiting. You don't need a certain destination, you don't need a certain checkmark to have value or to bring value. Well, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I

Kristina:

was gonna say I love this other quote in your book, that's just exactly what we're talking about. But it just takes it to another level. I wanted so badly to make everything fit. And this is actually kind of paraphrasing it. Romance and success fit each other. You want it to make romance and success fit each other at all costs. But without taking the time to analyze if this was even the right fit. Exactly. I think we do this a lot.

Unknown:

Because there's there's all this pressure, right? Think about when we go to parties and everything. It's about, Oh, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you married? Do you have a promotion? Do you have this coming up? So then we feel this time pressure? You know, so when I talk about the American dream, it's not just even the check marks is the fixed timelines that we give people were Oh, it has to happen before you're 30 Has this has to happen before you're 40. And it's totally not true. But we put these things so then you feel this pressure that you don't even care at the end. If it fits or not. You're just I'm going to I need to take the first job that's going to see me or value me for something. And I'm going to go into the first relationship or to a man, woman, whoever it is, that's going to give me something in return without taking that time to be like, is this the right fit and believing that we deserve it? So when my 16 year old self I didn't think I deserved it? I think that was it. It was the one person at that time I had been with him for a while childhood and Well, no one's ever gonna love me again, right? It's all those limiting beliefs, right that we have, that only one person can ever love us that only one job could ever be fit for us, right. And the thing is, that's why I say you're actually limitless. It's your your purpose is not a place you show up. It's your unique how to unique value. And I have this this cool exercise, I get people. And I tell them to reach out to five of their champions, and ask them how they impacted their lives. And everyone who does it comes back to me and is like, Oh, my God, I had no idea I impact them that way. I wish I could talk to myself that way, they talked to me. And if we could do that activity, anytime in our lives, we realize we're giving value whether we're a student, whether we work at a restaurant, whether we're diplomat, whether we're scientists, it doesn't matter, right, we have a uniqueness, and a way of doing that's why people gravitate to us. That's why people are friends with us. And there's no competition, because all of us have a unique way of doing something. But we need to change that narrative in society. We all have a uniqueness. So if you all have a uniqueness, then we can't all be on the same timeline. If we all have a uniqueness, we can't have all the same checkmarks because things fit differently. So good. Yeah, I

Kristina:

cannot believe how good all of this is. And you already brought it up, I was gonna ask you about social barriers, what are they? And how do we overcome them? So anything else you want to add to that? Because I feel like you've just been addressing that. So so well.

Unknown:

Yeah, I think first it's that exercise of realizing you are special. You are unique. And I have this exercise is if even a simple question, if you had unlimited resources, what problem would you solve and how it's less important about the problem you solve? And your how no one person answers that? How the same? So doing the work and doing the exercises unpacking that for yourself. So you can believe you can your brain can come around it to terms with I am I do bring value? I do bring something to the table? Because once you do that, right, the barriers come down a little bit, because then we're like, Wait, we start questioning why is society telling me I'm only fit for here, I can do all this other stuff? Why? Why when this person says I can only be in this position, or do this job, wait, wait, wait, but I bring this right. And then you start opening your mind to be like, wait, I can actually be in a bunch of different jobs to do a bunch of different things. I actually have skills beyond what I've been doing right now. But it's first comes to believing it. And then you ready to fight the society pressures, right? And then you start realizing that way, these are all brought down to us. Because we've somehow taken a definition that initially was really open the American Dream actual definition is about opportunity. But we've come to society to define then what is success and opportunity to us, right? We have to start it that definition. And once you open your eyes so that you're like, wait, everything is available to me. I can go anywhere and do anything. But it's it's going through that process. And I definitely did not know that at 16. Right and 16 That's when I went into depression. And I tried to take my life because I thought at that moment, there's nothing I can bring to the table. There's no value I have. And that wasn't true. Right? So that's why I dedicate the book to that to to myself, then actually you have so much value, you have so much gift. So I know it took you a your lifetime to figure that out. But I'm so glad I did. Right. I'm so glad I Yeah.

Kristina:

Like I literally cried when I read the doctor cared and he pulled you away from your family and just said, because you were basically saying, Oh, well, you weren't telling the truth. You weren't being real with your parents about the whole situation. And then, you know, I took some expired medication, whatever, whatever. And then he knew, and then he gave you some beautiful encouraging words and advice. It's exactly.

Unknown:

And that's the thing, right? And that's why I started this whole thing because I actually had an event a couple months ago, where a guy came and said, Actually, before we talk, I considered suicide. And I was like, wow, that's where I was at 16. And a person spoke to me. Right. And so I think we have so much power. And we don't even know because we don't know what people are going through. People are suffering in silence. Right. And it's what we talked about, especially more back then are still even today. So yeah,

Kristina:

no, I yeah, I think you know, we've come a huge long way. But I think we still have a lot of work to do and I will say I feel like Gen Z my son's Gen Z. Those kids in their teens and into their early 20s I feel like they're really bringing down a lot of barriers. They're not ashamed to say, Hey, I think I want to go to therapy, hey, I need help. Hey, I'm feeling anxious or whatever, like, wow, that gives me a huge amount of hope for the future, you know? Yeah,

Unknown:

absolutely. And that's my hope to and that's my hope of changing these conversations too, right? So that instead of in tables, instead of asking people, those metrics, right, we're asking them, Hey, what's your highest aspiration? How can I help you? What do you want to be sought out for? Maybe I can connect you with someone. Right? So shifting that away from the judgment, to actually

Kristina:

shifting away from judgment to support? I've never heard that. I'm still processing it. Tell me more.

Unknown:

Because in deep under that, right, under those line questions, why are we asking those questions about whether the person has achieved a checkmark? Right? It's a type of judgment. Like if they've met it, great. But if they didn't meet it, we go, oh, well, maybe soon you meet someone? Right? It's just It comes with a judgment if you haven't met that fixed timeline. Yeah, metric. And instead of that, how much more powerful is it? And even if you made the metric, in my case, I made the metric, right? That's not what they want to be sought out for? Yeah, either way, you're, you're putting this pressure on them, that they need to keep that facade and that metric, right. So imagine if we change that instead, to actual support. So yeah, each other's dreams support each other's open aid, right, let's let's be open to listening to what that is, it could be totally different, it may not even exist, because they might be trailblazing, they may be trailblazing something that's new and innovative, and be open to that and supportive to that there might be a whole side of them that you've never even seen before. Because they've been afraid to show it. Right. And so we need to find those spaces for people. And I think honestly, if we did that, and we really supported one another, we would create more supportive communities, right? We would have allow people that freedom to pivot to experiment, to follow what it is that they want, or test things. And if it doesn't work out, be like, Hey, how can I help you test another thing, right, and it's this income from a place of judgment. And then if you're practicing support into other people, right, you starting to be more gentle with yourself as well. Then you serve

Kristina:

practice. Oh, my gosh, I love that. So while you are changing how you support others, you become less judgmental of yourself? Yeah, because you are hearing. Totally agree with that. And let me tell you why I agree with that. Because I know for a fact that that happens. Because recently, a few months back, I was reading a parenting book, and it was talking about it's called dopamine nation. And it's a hard read, because some of the stuff is pretty dark that's happening in our society today. But one of the things that I got out of it was a parenting thing. And they were saying how we naturally as parents will be like, how did school go today? Or how did you do on that quiz? Or, and I went, Oh, my gosh, that has been me not obsessively. I'm a pretty free range parent. But I realized that I had, inadvertently, all these years as my son is a teenager, putting pressure on him without even realizing it just by being like, Oh, how did that math test go? And then I started shifting my thinking. And then I started being like, Okay, I want to look at my son as a person, not as his achievements. And so yeah, it's more like, Okay, who are you as a person? What is your character, you're this beautiful person that cares about others and does thoughtful things. And you see that as your kids grow up, they will start to get actually thoughtful. He's getting that way where he'll do things for me. I'll help us he'll ask mom. Mom, do you need some help? Mom, how are you feeling? Things like that? And on the byproduct has been for me to become less judgmental on myself too. It's so cool. Right? Exactly.

Unknown:

And no, it's for for circle. And it's funny, because if people think, oh, it's later on in life, I'll discover my purpose. I've actually done this, this whole exercise with first and fourth graders. And eighth graders are so clear. And who have Yeah, yeah, but by fourth grade. Yeah, they already have the societal on them. mall has this Oh, wow. wants me to do this. Grandma says I should do this, and they can't answer the questions freely. And first graders fascinating. But it's interesting because sometimes I do these exercises with the first graders and I'm like, I wonder if their parents even know The things you don't think about and care about. They answer that given what they can teach the world and the global problem. They draw these amazing intricate pictures of how they see it solving and what they're doing and older how right but we both sometimes it's that's what I love what you're saying, but the parents who book, we're always like, oh, school and the measures and this and the grades, rather than their whole holistic person. Yep. And, and how there's so many things that they already have innate, and how they solve problems that we could, you know, could be fostering, Oh, would you want to do this? Or what do you want to be sawed off? Or even just a conversation? You don't need just one career, you can have multiple careers in your life? What do you want to experiment? What do you want to be done? And it requires a shift, I had to go through that shift too, because naturally, right I was taught to achieve and even though I've done the work myself, even with my kids, I have to be like, let's examine your your purpose son, was you want to go you know, have space give him that space that you can change your mind, you could grow as long as you're in alignment and moving doesn't matter. There's no judgment from my side what you decide to do? Oh,

Kristina:

my gosh, like, I'm keep looking down because I'm writing notes. Because what you have to say is so important. I just learned, I don't know why, but I'm gonna get off this call and say to my son, hey, guess what? You can have multiple careers don't feel feel pressured. I have to pick this or that or it's so beautiful.

Unknown:

Exactly. We don't like our uniqueness. Those are just molds. Those are just societal molds. I do like this childhood dream exercise where like, what was your childhood dream? And it's less important about whether it was a doctor, lawyer, astronaut, movie star, right? Because those are things that we see in society, it's more important the characteristics of it. What did you like? Yeah, what is it about that person? Yeah. What did they embody? Because you can have 10 People say, Doctor, but the reason is so different. Okay, what did they embody? Do you embody that today? Are those things that you aspire to embody? What are the ones that you haven't been given that space to explore? Because in the end, it's kind of like a mirror of your greatest self, right? And so how do we create the space so you can bring out those things that you saw when you were a kid? And it's less about the career because you can bring in those characteristics into all different types of spaces in your personal life in your professional life, right? It's a dance, it's an integration. But it's hard, right? Because societies like pick one thing, major in one thing, become an expert in one thing, but we need to change the narrative like you can be an expert in your way that you solve problems. That's not tied to a specific thing. Right. Wow. I

Kristina:

love that. So so much. So you're kind of touching on one of the topics that you're an expert on, which is how do we build a limitless life? How do we how do we do that?

Unknown:

Yeah. And so sometimes people come to me, right, they're like, help me organize my calendar, because I think it's a time management problem. And although I can't do that for folks, right, I am great at time management, the time management is not the root of it, right? Because what are you going to fill your time with? So first, my whole thing is you first discover what is your purpose? What is that value? Add? How is it that you want to show up to the world every day? And the thing is, so that's why think about purpose is this happy side of purpose. But you know, we were talking about bullying earlier. Purpose has another side to it. Because the purpose is okay, how is your uniqueness and solving problems? What can you teach the world? What do you love? What's your legacy? Right? So your legacy is the thing that moves, but it's changes. But how you want to show up is the same every day. What You Love Frey, your childhood dream. But being clear on that, a brings another side, right. So give my case, my purpose is to help people identify their purpose, right, live it and keep it going. That is my phrase. Now it comes with another side of it, right? If I want to change the world change narratives that makes me prone to things makes me prone to people pleasing, makes me prone in staying things way too long, then I should get out of them, because I want to see it through. It makes me prone to overworking, it makes me prone to over giving right? It makes me prone to anxiety because I'm carrying all these things from a lot of people, right? So your purpose has a side to it a vulnerability side. So what's really important in that when people ask me, how do you make it happen? We need to understand what that is. What are your triggers was your vulnerability because instead of waiting to hit rock bottom, which was me at 16, right, and then even during my transition time, I hit rock bottom again, differently, but I hit rock bottom again, when I questioned my value. Again, it's instead of waiting for those crisis points to then use all the tools that have helped you before during crisis. We need to integrate that into your efforts. De so you don't hit rock bottom. Again, that's tied to your purpose and the way you want to show up. That's why like, even though I'm big on self care and all that, and I can give people 50 ways of doing that. It's really tailored to you and to your vulnerabilities go, what helped you in the past get through things. That's unique. And I love

Kristina:

that so you can examine what helped you get through crisis in the past? And then you're like, Okay, I did this. And those are the things that helped me. That's an incredible tool right there.

Unknown:

Yes. And if you actually do that, really map it out, you'll realize that everything you're overcoming, you're overcoming, again, it's repeated, because your core doesn't change, right? So your new star mapping out your low, it is the same five things. So how are we going to create that resilience? Because when you're on this path, right, of creating your limitless life, you're gonna be tested a lot in that patch, because you're pushing against society. Right? Right. You need to have that every day, Matt, you know, integrated or every other day, whatever it is, right? Some people it's every day, some people, it's weekly, you got to have that intentionally scheduled so that you can actually make it happen. So there's three pieces. This one is what is it? How do I want to show up? What do I want people to seek me for? And not seek me for? Because you can be good at something but not want people to seek you for it? Oh, interesting.

Kristina:

That's a mic drop right there too. You can be good at something but not want people to seek you for it. That's something to be aware of?

Unknown:

Oh, absolutely. Imagine like, in my case, time management is great, right? I can run events, I can do a lot of that. But I don't want to be sought out for every event. I don't want to do every kid's birthday party, I don't want I want to do events that are about community building, right? There's a difference. Just because I'm good at hosting events doesn't mean I want to do every event or be every organizer, right? And those are little subtle things that are really important, right? Because that helps them set the expectations and new conversations you need to be having with your circle. Because once you define your purpose, there's people who define it, but then don't do anything with it. Because then it's like, Oh, my God, how do I even start the conversation with my family? How do I even start the conversation at work? Nobody even knows I have a skill. How do I start, right? But you start by being Hey, I'm starting on a new journey. I'm going through this, I would love to be sought out for this. And to make time for this, I no longer want to be sought out for the other thing. And that keeps you from having to say no to people because now you're setting all these new expectations of like what you want and have and start talking about your dreams. And remember, we're talking about you are listening to yourself. As you're talking about your dreams, you're setting new expectations. You're also hearing it and holding yourself accountable to it. And then it's mapping it out. So that's the next step roadmapping because we always overestimate we can do in one year, but underestimate five

Kristina:

Hey, everyone, thanks so much for taking time out of your busy life to listen to today's episode. I love learning about what makes you brave. I'm here with you. I see you. I hear you and I want to hear from you. I want to know how you're showing up as being brave and authentic. Connect with me on Instagram at she's brave podcast, or come join our community in the she's brave podcast Facebook group. I'm sending you so much love. Until next time. Keep being brave.