She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
Discovering Bravery, Grounding Mantras, and Personal Growth with Diana Jorgensen
In this engaging episode of the She's Brave, host Kristina Driscoll is joined by her incredibly wise and inspiring friend, Diana Jorgensen, who steps in as a co-host for an unprecedented collaboration. This special episode is all about grounding techniques and mantras to help navigate life's chaotic moments. They explore the significance of realizing one's potential, the importance of taking small daily steps toward extraordinary goals, and the necessity of self-compassion. Kristina and Diana also delve into personal experiences, including Diana's courageous decision to pursue a fulfilling life post-divorce.
Tune in for an uplifting conversation that encourages listeners to find their inner bravery and embrace a life driven by passion and purpose!
Two 40-something single ladies dive into dating, divorce, men, friendships, work & more
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Hey everyone. It's Kristina Driscoll, host of the She's Brave podcast. I'm so glad you're here with me. I did not start out brave at all, but I learned that we can do brave things one small step at a time. I want to get brave women's voices out there in the world and inspire women to find their own bravery within themselves.
A year and a half later, I'm in the top one and a half percent of all podcasts globally. I've interviewed amazing women who've overcome and accomplished so much to live the life of their dreams. If they can do it, you can do it too. And so can I. Let's go. Hey, everyone. It's Christina with the She's Brave podcast.
You guys, I'm so excited today because I'm doing something unprecedented. I am having a co host today. I'm having my dear, very, very incredibly wise friend, Diana Jorgensen, be my co host on our topic today. And thank you Diana is an amazing human being. She's been through a lot in the last past year, and we may or may not get into that, but she, you guys, this is so cool, she is co owner of a construction company.
Is that awesome or is that awesome? Yes, and she does contracts with King County here in Seattle for low income housing. Talk about a rock star. Welcome, welcome, Diana. Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to be here, Kristina. Yay! Okay, so today we're gonna be having a conversation. This is like me having a solo episode, but with a conversation.
With a little texture. With texture! I like that. I like that. So basically what we're going to be doing is we're going to be discussing some mantras that you can repeat to yourself when you need to reground and remember. So life happens in a series of moments and any other ideas are just illustrations that keep you from it.
So we're talking about grounding and part of it is, hey guys, it's the beginning of September. I don't know about you, but August was really chaotic for me. Was it for you, Diane? I think it was tough. I feel like I had a lot going on in my You'd hear that. Yeah. A lot going on in your head. And I think part of what happens towards the end of August and early September is kids go back to school, the seasons start changing.
And we humans are not that great with change, right? We get uncomfortable. We don't like it. We just want to be here and we want everything to be consistent because we finally get to the point where we're like, Oh, this is what it's supposed to be like. And then the leaves start to change and fall and you get to see more of the trees and yeah.
Yeah. So we're going to be talking about some grounding concepts today. Yes. And we're just going to dive right in right now. So I'm going to start with this first topic here. This sentence, I just love this so much. Potential unrealized becomes pain. Now I know some of you out there are like, okay, what the hell are you talking about, Christina?
Potential unrealized becomes pain. What that really means. And I was like, oh, I love this one so much. Potential Is we all have things in life that we want to do. Maybe it's get that different job. Maybe it's go to that country. Maybe it's write that book, whatever. In my case, start that podcast. And I think most of us were afraid of change.
It's really hard to make change. So we end up not doing it. And I think we also know inherently what our talents are. And I think that there's a reason why we are wanting to do the thing, like wanting to write the book, or wanting to start the podcast, in my case. And I think that if we don't do it. Like here we are, Diana, right?
Like I've been podcasting and a year and a half, I've just made it into the top one and a half percent. Who knew? Right. Yeah. Now, before I started my podcast, I could have just not done it. I could still be here today just saying, Oh my gosh, I really should start a podcast. That feels really painful to even think about that scenario.
I have some of those. I think my biggest one is a place that I wanted to travel. Yeah. Since 2017 or 18 and I haven't, and it still fits in me. Okay. And it's, it is almost like painful to think, Oh, other people might go there before me or other people are going and I'm not, and I haven't made that commitment.
Why do you think you haven't made that commitment? I don't know. I wonder, like, I think I wanted to go with somebody. Okay. Right. Yeah. Maybe some people want somebody to give them permission. Yes. I think that, especially as women, That is so common for us to wait to get permission to do the thing that we want to do.
And we're waiting and waiting and guess what? That permission sometimes never happens. It never comes. No, you need to look at yourself and say, I need to give myself permission. Totally agree. Yeah. It's these things that you think about that you're dreaming of that come into you and they come into you for a reason.
Totally agree. And it's okay to act on them. Yeah. Here's your permission. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So guys, me and Diana are giving you permission to do the thing, okay? And I want you to think about that. What is it? And by the way, where is it? Where is it that you want to go? I want to go to Croatia. Croatia.
I've actually been there. I know. In 1990, when it was Yugoslavia. I was in college. Yeah. Well, heck, Diana, we got to get you to go there. Yes. I'll help you. I mean, I will push you along and before you know it, you're going to have two feet planted in a soil. I'm going to be grounded in Croatia. It's going to be amazing.
Okay. So here we go, you guys, we are going to go to another grounding fact that we're going to discuss. We'll The only way to be extraordinary depends on what I do with the ordinary. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you think of that one? Well, it makes me think about what am I doing right now in my ordinary life, in my day to day, in my little step, right?
Like I get up and I get coffee and I get up and I maybe. Listen to a podcast and then go on my way to work and like, what are other things that you can do to enhance your being that would help in your dreams? To become extraordinary. And it can start out really small, right? It needs to start small. Yeah.
Yeah. I really, really like that. I really like that answer. And that leads us to the next one, which is literally the words little by little. So basically that's what you're saying. Step by step. And sometimes like, I think we think, oh, well that step's just so minor. It's like so little. And I find sometimes like when I have like a big.
Uh, task ahead of me that seems like daunting. What I do is I just say, okay, I am going to break down that task and I am just going to do one small step towards getting that thing done. Yes. And I'm going to be a little bit funny right now, but when I was in my twenties, you know what my favorite quote was?
What? It was, Well begun is half done and who said that Mary Poppins. Oh my gosh, well begun is half done because at that time I was working at state government and sometimes it was just really hard to get into a project. Oh my gosh, there's so much to this case. How am I going to do it? And I would tell myself well begun is half done.
So I'm just going to do one little thing. And. It's just so weird how when you start something, often I think what happens is, is you actually get into flow. You get into flow. And then you just keep going. And if you don't know what flow is, you guys, there is an episode coming out on September 17th by a author who just wrote a book called Flow.
And her name is Diane. Not Diana. Diane. Diane. And, um, forgetting her last name, but she's a very accomplished violinist and she studied this whole concept of flow, including the science behind it. So like, what's really fascinating is when you get into the state of flow, so your frontal cortex, okay. Yes. I did not know that.
The whole interview is fascinating, you guys. So your frontal cortex, like you sit down to do a task. Your frontal cortex says. Oh, my God. This is too hard. I can't do this thing. It's that little negative voice in your head that's like, Oh, yeah, you can't do this thing. No, you can't do it. But what happens is when you get into flow, your frontal vortex shuts down.
Down. Oh. Can you even freaking believe it? It literally deactivates. I mean those are the times when you're swimming in the water, or you're playing, when you're just, you're in flow and you're doing it. Yeah. Oh, it's magical because you get out of it and you're like, oh, I just enjoyed myself. Yeah. That is flow.
Yeah. And she actually takes us through an exercise live on the podcast. Oh, I cannot wait for it. On how to get into flow and what the three components of getting into flow are. Oh. It's, I mean, she did a ton of research on this. That is going to be a good one to look at. Yeah. And I mean, she kind of learned it on her own because she was having to learn how to get into flow to be a really great violinist.
Yeah. Absolutely. You know? Yeah. She has to dig deep. That is so, so cool. Add something. Yes. Little by little. Yeah. Do. It's just very, very down to earth. When you're looking in your kitchen and you have a pile of dirty dishes in your sink. Yeah. And you're thinking, I just worked a whole day. I am exhausted. I don't think I can get to that mound of dishes.
That's when you take your little by little step. Just one. Just one. Just one dish. One dish. Yeah, I like that. That's a great analogy and sometimes That's all it is and don't beat yourself up for that, too So I have the same thing where it's like the sink full of dirty dishes and then I do the same thing I play the trick.
I trick myself and I say, okay, I'm gonna do one dish. Yes I would say 90 percent of the time I end up getting it all done. 10 percent of the time I do one dish and I am freaking done and I don't beat myself up over it. I say, you know what, later tomorrow things will be different. That's perfect. Right?
Yeah. I love that so much. Yeah. Okay. So I want to go into some really, really, really cool questions. Do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, these are so freaking good. If I had the life I wanted, what would today look like? Oh, this one is so powerful. It is so powerful. Yeah. What would you be doing right now, if you had the life that you wanted, and why not do it?
Yeah. I had a podcaster ask me that question. I've lost track of how many podcasts I've been on. I'm taking a hiatus, a break from doing that, cause. You can only take on so much, so, I'm not doing that, but I had a podcaster ask me when they were interviewing me, What does your perfect life look like and what would you be doing?
And I said, I'm living it. I'm podcasting. This is my dream. Like, I'm doing it. I wouldn't change anything. But it take you that step to get over the fear, to get over it, to just go with it and commit to it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that The life that we want changes over time too, like you and I were talking before I hit record about what life is like in our 20s, and how we live our life, and what our goals are, and then like 30s, and then 40s, and onward, like, and those goals change, and it's okay.
Yes. That they change. Because, like, I was just in huge podcast mode for the last almost two years between taking a class and then launching and doing all that. And now I'm like, I need a little more balance in my life. Yeah. So good. I am all about balance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like this one too. And this one pertains to you because Diana, well, how many years were you married?
I was married 14 years, 14 years, but you guys were together longer, like a little bit longer than that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Diana and I were actually neighbors and then we're neighbors again. We both moved, but her and her husband and my husband, we were all BFFs. Like we all like got along great. And then was it six months ago, this longer, maybe you got divorced a year and a half ago.
Yeah. It's been that long. It's been that long. Okay. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And tell the audience how old you are. I am 43. Yeah. That's a big change. And I'm looking forward to the future. Yeah. But I have to take it day by day. And I want to dive in a little bit deep on this topic, okay? We're going a little bit off topic, but I don't care because I think that my listeners need to hear this.
Because. Most of my listeners are women, 60, 70, and they may not be in the best relationship. They might be in an okay relationship. I think with women, we polarize, like we'll say, okay, well, if my husband beats me or he's super verbally abusive, then like, okay, I got to leave. I got to get divorced. But then there's this gray area, right?
Where you're like, you're married. But you don't feel fulfilled. You don't feel like you're living your life's purpose. You feel like your partner doesn't make an effort to do things with you, like live life together. Yeah. And I feel like you were really, really brave because you could have just easily posted along, stayed in that marriage.
It's not like your ex was this, he wasn't like an abusive person. No, he wasn't. None of that, none of that applied, but you were deeply unhappy. I was unhappy. I think he was unhappy too. He was too. Let me just say, he is a great man. I love that. He was a great husband. I think we just had different visions for the future and I was able to say, this is not the future and life that I want to live right now.
Oh my gosh, that's so freaking brave. Because you, on the outside, you had it all. Yeah. Like, if the outside person were to look at your life, they would have been like, Oh my gosh, like, you guys have the perfect life. Yeah. Yeah. We had the house. Yeah. We had the dog. Yeah, the vacations. We had the cars. We had the vacation.
Had it all. Yeah. We did. Yeah. Yeah. And yet you were like, I need to grow spiritually. I need to grow and I need to pursue what my soul desires. Wow. Yeah. I love that so much. Like so, so incredibly brave. And okay. So let's ask you that if I had the love I wanted, what would today look like? Because right now you are officially single girlfriend.
I am single, single, single. And what's amazing. My day would look the same. Okay. I love that answer. I think that's a key to finding the right partner for you is, will my day look the same with or without this person? Oh gee, that is freaking genius. I love that. Yeah. My day would be the same. And I can say the same about me too.
Like I entirely live my life according to. What fulfills me. Now, not that there isn't some compromise, like certain things my husband likes a little bit better than I do, and I'm like, okay, fine. We'll go to that Seahawks game, whatever. So I enjoy it not as much as him, but overall, I'm living life on my own terms.
Yes. And I think that's how we need to be. And become two wholes that complement each other together. Oh my gosh, this is so good. Okay, here's another one. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. And do not beat yourself up. Not bad, but you just added that in. You're like, and do not beat yourself up.
Because we all do with our, our women, especially words credit. Mm-Hmm. . And I've even noticed that in podcasting, like I taught a couple of podcasting classes and the guy just kinda like throw spaghetti at the wall, experiment, do stuff. They screw up and they're like, oh, well, on to the next thing. And then women, they're like, I did this thing wrong, Christina.
Oh my God, I need to like, analyze it. How do I fix this? Right? Yeah, we criticize ourselves. Why is that? Why do we feel like we have to be so perfect? I don't know. I don't either. Maybe to be continued. We need to like, study this and have another episode on it. Yeah. Because we gotta help you with it out there.
What is going on with that inner critic that seems to be Way more with women than with men. Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah. Okay, I like this next one, too. What are the most important things that must happen today? You're down to basics. You need to feed your body. You need to move your body. You're really good about that.
Yeah. You're good about both those things. You need to give yourself a hug. Yeah. Ooh, okay, women, let's do this. Yeah. So you take your left hand. Okay. And you put it under your right breast. Okay. And grab your ribcage. Okay. And you take, is that your left hand? That's your left hand. And you take your right hand and you put it on your shoulder.
Okay. And you squeeze. Okay. And this is your hug you give to yourself. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. That feels really, really good. What are your basic needs? Yeah. It's not, I need to go to the grocery store because You know, I had to make this amazing meal, or I need to check off all the things on my to do list. What are the most important things?
You need to love yourself. You need to feed yourself. Cause if you don't feed yourself, then you're kind of spinning circles. Yeah. You know what I'm going to say today? I mean, for me, this answer will change depending on the day, but the latest studies in happiness have all said that, Probably like either number one or close to number one is our connections with other people.
And with podcasting, I'm that person that just dives all in, right? And thank goodness you were able to hang in there with me, even though I was busy all the time. Maybe. And I'm coming out the other side of that and I'm getting more balance back in my life. So after this interview, I'm having. Coffee with a friend that I haven't seen in over a year and because relationships are actually they say pretty much the number one thing to a happy life.
Like people at the end of their life, that's like, I read this book, like I need to have her on my podcast, Bronnie Ware, Five Regrets of the Dying and she was a caregiver. And I mean, what happened a lot of times at the end is. These people would be reaching out to all the connections, like the people who they loved because they needed to connect with them before they, before they left this planet.
Yeah. You know? I think it's one of the biggest things that I've done since my divorce is regrow my community. Yes. You've done a great job of that. Mm hmm. Because, I have to say, I knew I needed it. Yeah. Yeah. I love that so much. And I think we can't discount how important relationships are. Like, Again, I have this tendency to say, Oh, well, I could spend that hour on my podcast.
I mean, there's always something you can be doing, but it's like carve out the time for the people that you care about, right? Yeah, so that's a cool question because as I said like that answer can change every day, right? Yes, like it could be exercise tomorrow or something or take one step towards that dream goal or like all that stuff Let's see.
What else? I like this one. Am I truly Doing the best I can right now. Heck yeah. Okay, that's, I'm gonna answer first. You might have a totally different answer than me, but I listened to this interview by Brene Brown. Yeah. And it freaking changed me forever. Because what she said was, and I've had people disagree with me on this.
She said, everybody on this planet is doing the very best that they can in this moment with the resources they had. Yeah. That includes the people who are on the streets homeless. That includes them. Do you think they actually really, really want to be there? Um, there are a few of them that do. There are some people that like living in a tent and they are doing that, but mostly it's like mental illness and they are freaking doing the best they can.
And when I realized that, and I started like looking at people in my life and how they act and what they do, I was like, We all try to do the very best we can, right? Yes. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I mean, that's my answer, is like, the question is, am I truly doing the best I can right now? I'm like, yes. We had down times too, though.
Let's talk a little bit about rest. Because there are sometimes days My late husband used to call them fall apart days, where you're allowed to just lounge around, and then when somebody calls you, you can say, I'm having a fall apart day. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love it. Right? Yeah, we need those. I think everybody is doing the best they can, but I think some people don't tell themselves that.
Oh my gosh, I love this so much. So they almost need to, because we are inherently trying to do the best we can with our trauma, with our, yeah, issues in between. And some days we're on fire and some days we need a fall apart day. Yeah. And that's why I wanted to add was that the fall apart day is also doing the best that we can.
Yeah. And that's okay. That's totally okay. Yes. Yeah. I love that so much. Oh, I like this one too. Cause you and I both struggle with fatigue and tiredness and I still don't know like why I seem to tread more tired. I seem to need more sleep than the average person, and I have been this way my entire life.
Yeah, I am really good at taking naps. Are you? Yes. You get better at taking naps. Okay. Yeah. So, like, the question is, if I didn't feel tired, What would I do today? And I like that one too, because even if you are having a tired day, you might be like, Oh, but I want to do this thing. So I'm going to do it. And it's weird how you could be really tired and then all of a sudden you do something fun and then you're not tired anymore and then you have energy and then you have energy.
I love it. So every day I get off work and I'm like, okay, I want to make my healthy meal and I want to do my exercise. It. And some days I'm like, I am just exhausted. Yeah. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. And maybe I tie my shoes on and I do a couple weights and I'm like, that's good for today.
Yeah. Yesterday, I put my paddle boards on my car. Yeah. And I said, I'm going to go paddle boarding after work. Okay. I'm not going to go home and grab everything. I'm going to have it all ready. Okay. So even if I get on the water and I just sit there. Yeah. I'm doing it. I love that. That's so cool. But it's still, I did not feel tired.
What would I do today? I mean, we can go all over the map with that. And sometimes for me, that's podcasting, like, Oh, what cool adventure thing could I do with my podcast? You know? And then all of a sudden I'm excited and I'm like doing something with my podcast. I think you need that down time to be able to have inspired creativity, creativity.
I agree with that too, and that is actually one of the things that we have a problem with in our society is that, well, number one, we have decision making fatigue because every time you look at your phone, there's a text. You have to make a decision. Am I going to click on it? Am I going to read it? Then you gotta decide, am I going to respond to it?
Okay, then you go on social media. Okay, am I going to click on this link and read about it, or am I going to scroll on? So, I've been spending way less time on social media and on my phone, because if we get decision making fatigue, we just can't get anything done. And so, Then those little steps become way too hard.
They become way too hard. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I mean, I think there's so much more we could talk about that whole thing about being tired, but let's leave it at that today. We might circle back around to that another time. And I like this last one, be where your feet are. I love this one. Yeah. Yeah, because I always forget.
I always go in my head and once in a while something will catch me and I'll be like, I just need to be here, in my body, this is where I am. You go on vacation and you put your feet in the sand, what do you think about? You think about your feet in the sand and where you are. You're not in your head anymore, you're feeling those grains.
I really like this one. I think it's a really important reminder for everybody. Yeah, I do too. I think it's great and it works like in all different kinds of situations. If I'm like feeling kind of, yeah, too much in my head before an interview, Like before I jump on, I will do that grounding. Like I'll like kind of feel my feet on the ground and just kind of feel more anchored and grounded so that I can go into that interview feeling more grounded.
And then if I feel like I need more, I just say to my guest, Hey, do you want to do a little grounding exercise? Running fist bump facing. What is your grounding exercise? Let's do it. You want to do it right now? Let's do it. Okay. Well, it changes. I don't have a set format, but you can get like a general idea of what it is.
Like, so when I'm with a guest and I don't always do it, but. Like, I'll just be like, okay, so let's put our feet flat on the ground and let's close our eyes. Not if you're driving, not if you're driving and just kind of roll your shoulders back a little bit. Just kind of feel that strength and that connection with the earth, the energy of the earth that's just so beautiful and pure and.
radiant, and light, and just know that the universe is supporting us in all the ways that we need. And just, I want you to imagine a golden light About eight inches above your head and that golden light of pure love and pure energy is just pouring down over the top of your head, down through your chest, your arms, your pelvis, your legs, and then out into the earth, into the ground and just allow that channel to be open to wisdom.
And to whatever my listeners need to hear today, and that the conversation that we have that everybody's going to benefit, everybody's going to learn something, a universe is going to share with us what we need to know and what we need to share and allow this inner sense of knowing and peace just to kind of flow through your body.
And we're very grateful for this time today. And then when you're ready, you can take your time and then open your eyes. I love it. You liked it? I am ready for the day now. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Well, you guys, you got it on a little secret. One of my little secrets of podcasting. Yeah. Now that's like verbatim, but that's kind of the flow of it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So kind of fun. Okay. So I think this has been an amazing, fun conversation and I think our listeners have benefited. A lot from all this wisdom. So let's just do a real quick takeaway. Okay. We are Takeaway? We're grounding. We're grounding ourselves with different mantras. So potential, unrealized, becomes pain.
We talked about that. The only way to become extraordinary depends on What I do with the ordinary. We did talk about that. Yeah. Yeah. Little by little is part of that process. Yeah.
You got it. I think the takeaway is each moment we need to decide what we're doing for ourselves. I love that. Okay. Well, I hope you guys got a lot out of this conversation with Diana Jorgensen. And a lot of these concepts came from an author. Her name is Brianna Wiest. So if you're interested, she has a book called 101 Essays.
That will change the way you think, and I refer to it all the time. My copy is so ragged and worn because I keep it in my purse, and I just like look at the questions and ask myself, and I learn and I grow. So I hope that this was highly beneficial for you guys today. Any last words, Diana? Be brave. Amen, sister!
Follow your soul dream. I love it. Thanks for having me, Christina. Thank you for joining us on the She's Brave podcast with Christina Driscoll. I hope today's episode inspired you to embrace your courage and be brave. And step boldly into your own journey. If you enjoy the show, we'd love to hear from you.
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